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Summary:
Respecting one’s parents is one of the central obligations of Islam. However, there is a difference between respect and obedience. One has to be good to one’s parents even if they do not show you kindness. One must not obey them when they instruct you to disobey Allah, but being good towards them is still necessary. Also, one should stand up in their honour. One should not call parents by their name
Imam Ibn Abdul Bar (from Qurtuba [spain]) defined BIRR as: “being gentle / not speaking loudly in their presence, and being soft in your speech, and not looking at ones parents except with absolute love and respect and when talking to them, not raising your voice over their voice.”
One should not speak in a gathering before one’s father. One should try and avoid their displeasure, and try one’s utmost best in pleasing them. Making parents happy is one of the greatest acts of bir.
